Sleep. That one restful, peaceful, quiet place that the body needs to go, to rejuvenate and refresh itself. If I speak for myself, sleep had never been an issue, until I became a mother, that is... As a kid, I used to sleep fitfully, from the moment my Ba's (Granny's) stories began to weave a wonderful blanket of images, draping her stories over my psyche, lulling me to a dreamy, secure safe place. Sleep came wafting in, riding the waves of tiredness mingled with excitement..Of listening to another one of Ba's stories and breathing in the smell of her cotton saree as I snuggled close to her, my face pressed into her warm embrace....She had a loving, sweet way of caressing my hair which actually felt like something between a tickle and a scratch, but put me to a peaceful, heavenly sleep! The summer holidays brought us cousins together, and excitement banished all sleep from our eyes! We would spend hours, talking, telling stories and playing games like UNO... (tales-of-a-bedtime-story).
Many moons later, as a young adult at University, I realised another universal truth: Sleep was good, but, no sleep was even better! I revelled in the drawings and inking I accomplished after the rest of the family was asleep, surviving on an unhealthy dose of caffeine, crisps and rock music. Ba would worry, sometimes dropping in on me through the night, to see if I was actually awake, or had nodded-off...
As a mother, I tried (in vain) to do the whole "Sleep , my little angel, I'll watch over you, awake.." kind of thing- as glorified in Indian films over the ages. Only too soon, I realized that a sleepy, cranky mother is no good to a toddler and promptly took some steps towards a routine, regular bedtime.After the kids came along, however, sleep has been snatchy, elusive and rather too sonorous for my own liking! As maternal instincts kicked in, exhaustion was relegated to second place as my duties as a mother came first. As I tried to wake up and focus, I'd be telling myself- 'get up, you blob, S is crying... she's probably hungry/wet/cold or bored'.
Even as a baby, S had a way of snuggling-nuzzling a bare arm, and fell asleep holding on to us. It was all very well for as long as she were little, settling in our bed next to us, and my husband was happy as can be... Things became rather complicated when my second Daughter was born 19 months after S. So we finally got the Cot hitched up in our room, and got the little baby into it. S was 20 months old by then and slept with her grandma till we moved into our own home , a few weeks before S turned two. S hated the new-fangled idea I had about them both sleeping in one room. MiL bought a lovely bunk bed for the girls, and S could sleep in it whilst the baby slept in a cot adjacent to the bed. To us, it was obvious she was beyond tired and needed to sleep. But S had other ideas... she was ANGRY. Soon, to my surprise (although the predominant emotion was dismay and heartache at the state she was in...) she pulled herself up to stand and cried and cried in protest. Did I mention that she never stood up before, with or without support!?
Sleep and S have always had a love-hate relationship. although she loves her sleep and hates getting up in the morning. School mornings are a real pain. as is getting her to wake up. It may be about her (She's definitely NOT a morning kiddo), or may be due to her behaviour difficulties but she equally strongly dislikes being put to sleep.
At six years old, she had progressed from sleeping only next to me/my husband/ MiL, to persuading R, her little sis, to sleep with her in the bunk-bed. Sometimes, as kids often do, R uses this leverage to get S to toe her line and do things she wants S to do for her... Now, after a few years' struggles and discipline, S manages to sleep throughout the night, on most nights, and only appears at my bedside if she is awake in the wee hours of the morning, when she has been woken up by a full bladder, or worse, a wet bed...Or, like yesterday night, finds me awake in bed, and asks me, "Mummy, can you sleep with me??!"
Rather hard to say no, if you ask me, for two reasons:
If I were to say NO, S would have a meltdown/cry/scream then and there, waking up her father in the process.
If that didn't happen, she would climb into bed with us and slowly nudge me away, thereby taking up my whole bed-space till I was forced to get up and sleep in her room, while she happily snuggled up to her Daddy.
See what I mean!!?? S is cleverer beyond my comprehension, but also stubborn beyond endurance...
Either way, I now sleep less and less, from the sheer stress of it all, only managing to nod-off properly:
A) In the early hours of the morning,
B) While I'm watching T.V,
or C) When my husband decides to give me a peaceful night, putting up with the girls in our bed, and letting me get some sleep in theirs.
Sleep, for our lot at least, is elusive, ever-new and gratefully received! If the body is tired, it will sleep. Period. So, my aim these holidays, on the days I am not working, is to get the girls as tired as possible! We walk to the park, or they ride their scooties, and I let them loose, keeping a hawk-like eye on S so other innocent, unsuspecting kids are not put at risk by her swinging hand and swinging mood... This is not to say that she will attack random kids but with her blurring the lines of acceptable social interactions, she sometimes makes other kids feel threatened. Typically, she will pat a kid on the head, or touch their cheek, face or smile right in front of their noses. They react by telling her to leave them alone. She gets upset and takes a swipe or turns away. I always look out for her so I can help her keep social interaction as open-ended as possible... Difficult, but not impossible. Especially in the play-area is close to home. Disputes can be resolved by ultimately walking off homewards, and she follows, screaming and shouting abuses, but calms down once there is no negative reaction from my side. I just tell myself it must be 10 times harder, if not more, for her than it is for me. Keeps things in perspective, if you ask me....But, that's another story...!
Many moons later, as a young adult at University, I realised another universal truth: Sleep was good, but, no sleep was even better! I revelled in the drawings and inking I accomplished after the rest of the family was asleep, surviving on an unhealthy dose of caffeine, crisps and rock music. Ba would worry, sometimes dropping in on me through the night, to see if I was actually awake, or had nodded-off...
As a mother, I tried (in vain) to do the whole "Sleep , my little angel, I'll watch over you, awake.." kind of thing- as glorified in Indian films over the ages. Only too soon, I realized that a sleepy, cranky mother is no good to a toddler and promptly took some steps towards a routine, regular bedtime.After the kids came along, however, sleep has been snatchy, elusive and rather too sonorous for my own liking! As maternal instincts kicked in, exhaustion was relegated to second place as my duties as a mother came first. As I tried to wake up and focus, I'd be telling myself- 'get up, you blob, S is crying... she's probably hungry/wet/cold or bored'.
Even as a baby, S had a way of snuggling-nuzzling a bare arm, and fell asleep holding on to us. It was all very well for as long as she were little, settling in our bed next to us, and my husband was happy as can be... Things became rather complicated when my second Daughter was born 19 months after S. So we finally got the Cot hitched up in our room, and got the little baby into it. S was 20 months old by then and slept with her grandma till we moved into our own home , a few weeks before S turned two. S hated the new-fangled idea I had about them both sleeping in one room. MiL bought a lovely bunk bed for the girls, and S could sleep in it whilst the baby slept in a cot adjacent to the bed. To us, it was obvious she was beyond tired and needed to sleep. But S had other ideas... she was ANGRY. Soon, to my surprise (although the predominant emotion was dismay and heartache at the state she was in...) she pulled herself up to stand and cried and cried in protest. Did I mention that she never stood up before, with or without support!?
Sleep and S have always had a love-hate relationship. although she loves her sleep and hates getting up in the morning. School mornings are a real pain. as is getting her to wake up. It may be about her (She's definitely NOT a morning kiddo), or may be due to her behaviour difficulties but she equally strongly dislikes being put to sleep.
At six years old, she had progressed from sleeping only next to me/my husband/ MiL, to persuading R, her little sis, to sleep with her in the bunk-bed. Sometimes, as kids often do, R uses this leverage to get S to toe her line and do things she wants S to do for her... Now, after a few years' struggles and discipline, S manages to sleep throughout the night, on most nights, and only appears at my bedside if she is awake in the wee hours of the morning, when she has been woken up by a full bladder, or worse, a wet bed...Or, like yesterday night, finds me awake in bed, and asks me, "Mummy, can you sleep with me??!"
Rather hard to say no, if you ask me, for two reasons:
If I were to say NO, S would have a meltdown/cry/scream then and there, waking up her father in the process.
If that didn't happen, she would climb into bed with us and slowly nudge me away, thereby taking up my whole bed-space till I was forced to get up and sleep in her room, while she happily snuggled up to her Daddy.
See what I mean!!?? S is cleverer beyond my comprehension, but also stubborn beyond endurance...
Either way, I now sleep less and less, from the sheer stress of it all, only managing to nod-off properly:
A) In the early hours of the morning,
B) While I'm watching T.V,
or C) When my husband decides to give me a peaceful night, putting up with the girls in our bed, and letting me get some sleep in theirs.
Sleep, for our lot at least, is elusive, ever-new and gratefully received! If the body is tired, it will sleep. Period. So, my aim these holidays, on the days I am not working, is to get the girls as tired as possible! We walk to the park, or they ride their scooties, and I let them loose, keeping a hawk-like eye on S so other innocent, unsuspecting kids are not put at risk by her swinging hand and swinging mood... This is not to say that she will attack random kids but with her blurring the lines of acceptable social interactions, she sometimes makes other kids feel threatened. Typically, she will pat a kid on the head, or touch their cheek, face or smile right in front of their noses. They react by telling her to leave them alone. She gets upset and takes a swipe or turns away. I always look out for her so I can help her keep social interaction as open-ended as possible... Difficult, but not impossible. Especially in the play-area is close to home. Disputes can be resolved by ultimately walking off homewards, and she follows, screaming and shouting abuses, but calms down once there is no negative reaction from my side. I just tell myself it must be 10 times harder, if not more, for her than it is for me. Keeps things in perspective, if you ask me....But, that's another story...!
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