One fine day...

This month, I began to do my first early shifts in over four years (Early Shifts start at 0700 and finish at 1515) and they went well...  I do not know if it was the summery haze, gentle breeze or the bright sunshine, but it definitely helped lift my mood as I cycled home in the afternoon.. There was the prospect of  a nice lunch n dinner for B (my husband), and a walk in the park with my two daughters featuring on my 'yet to-do' list. Returning home, I found the kids upstairs with B, enjoying a 'scary' movie. On the kitchen table, Rani, my youngest,  had left a couple of pictures she drew that morning, one for her Dad,  (image below) who she adores and obeys without question.

R's drawing for her Daddy dearest!

B has a way with them, which I try to observe, now that we have more time together as a foursome. Earlier, he would return from work exhausted, and find the kids in bed already. He would have to restrict his cuddles and loving kisses so as to not wake them up (S is a really light sleeper; R is so much better) But now that he's temporarily off work and in-between jobs, he is finally getting to spend a lot more time with the girls. B's love for them manifests in the way he looks after them, looks AT them and understands and disciplines them. (Case in point- as he cleans up/hoovers/organizes things around our home he has an army of 2 'foot-soldiers'  dusting, cleaning or helping him in his DIY activities etc.)
Now, he even has them wiping down their table after a kiddie meal/treat, much to my amazement!! As I cycled to TESCO to buy some Lunch and picnic treats (for later in the week), I thought about whether the kids really cared about 'going out and doing things' as a family, or, like B himself, they are simply content to play and stay at home?? Was it me who needed to get out, and if so, shouldn't I just go ride my bike for as long as I was tired, rather than persuade all my family to get up and get going when they'd rather not? The difficulty of the decision lies in the varying attitudes of my kids. S, like B is content to do whatever it is he's doing. If he lays down on the bed, munching crisps and watching an old film, she will be more than happy to. R, on the other hand, has inherited my restless spirit... She likes to go out to the park, meet her girlfriends for a few hours (where they hug each other gleefully as if they haven't seen each other in years while us Mums make small talk.)
I cooked, cleared the battle-zone a.k.a kitchen and summoned the girls to dinner. After dinner, I got the kids ready to go to the park. Easy enough, when it comes to R, who is compliant and 'understands' when I say, " Baby, you'll need a sun-hat and can I comb your hair ( more like a 'hornet's nest')  please??!" She sits patiently as I attempt to tame her hip-length tresses using tangle-free (which, incidentally was a great discovery, as it helps overcome the morning school-rush-time tantrums by S), a wide-toothed comb and bands...
S, on the other hand, my delightfully notorious, challenge of a daughter, predictably enough, screamed at the sight of the comb. Okay, I told myself, I can do this! I tried to reason, cajole and persuade her- following it up by an ultimatum "we're NOT going until you let me sort out your hair, dear" and "Please let me, at least, comb it out and give you a hair-band". WRONG MOVE, Ruchita, I told myself... Still, nothing worked. She dug her heels in, and I planted my feet firmly. Face-Off. big time, if you ask me. Inwardly, I was not sure she would comply, outwardly, I put on a brave face- my 'I-know-how-you-feel-but-this-is-non negotiable' face. Minutes ticked by....then she, defiantly, took her wheelie-scooter thing outside the door, and I followed her out and said "we're not going if you don't help me". some of you may be thinking, 'why all the fuss, let her go as she is' but it's not that easy to watch my beautiful, energetic autistic daughter get more than her share of 'looks' from others in the park- (kids, parents etc) simply because she looked like she'd been dragged through the hedge. Backwards.
The last straw came when she lashed out at me, verbally, shouting at me and using the f-word. I told her to go inside and wait for me to get back. I made it clear to her that she was to go "inside and stay with Daddy", who I rang up, half-a-minute later, appraising him of the new situation. He said he was fine, and did talk to her and asked her what she had done wrong? She told him she'd said the 'F' word to me.... They talked about it, and she promised him she would not do that again. After an hour and a half in the park, Rani and I came back home. S had, I hope, learned her lesson. R had a good time. I was totally miserable....  but then, that's life!

Cakes, Bakes and summer Birthdays- Vol 2

B's birthday was aglow with the beauty of the summer sun, and made me smile as soon as I pulled back the curtains.  Actually, it was R who woke me up with her excited cry of " Mummyyy, we have to finish Dade's cake (she says Daddy and writes it as Dade, and, so did I.)!! So, I got up and we all wished B a very happy birthday.He was sorry he had to go to work (little knowing the surprise I had in store for him later!) and promised to try to get home soon that evening.
After the girls had their lunch, I fried some samosas added squashes for the journey and a packet of Doritos to our backpack and set off with the girls beside me in their summer hats and jumpsuits. We walked to a bus stop nearby and waited for our bus to arrive. After half-an-hour of waiting (by which time the girls had counted cars, trucks and trailers, smiled at babies in buggies and women on bicycles and swigged from their drink bottles a few times) the bus drew up level and we got inside, thankful to have escaped the heat for a bit! Then, S started her favourite 'journey' game, loudly commenting on why the bus made her fall back into her seat (at which I tried to recollect my vaguely remembered knowledge of Physics- momentum and the inertia of motion) She seemed satisfied by my answer but the answer itself, gave rise to more questions. I promised to google it later on, and show her the results. So, once more, peace prevailed in the bus! On public transport, S constantly observes people, things and views out of the window, and occasionally says, "Are we there, yet!!?" a-la- donkey in SHREK. She is fidgety, affectionate and sometimes gets upset when I tell her off for smacking her little sister out in public places. At home, she is always pushing, punching, poking or shoving her sister, which makes me sad and angry.
When we reached Hemel Hempstead, where B works as a store manager in the Town Centre, we thanked the bus driver, got down at the stop and made our way down the high street.
Inside B's store, his staff, who were in on the surprise, tried to help smuggle us upstairs to B's office. S, however, had different plans, and had started giggling, and grinned at her Dad when she caught his eye! So, we all came out of hiding, and it was so worthwhile just to see the delighted surprise on B's face as he said, "Hi!! What are you all doing here!!!?" and scooped the squealing, smiling girls up into a big, high hug!
Later, after an office-room birthday celebration with his good colleagues AB and NG, we headed home after the tills had been balanced and the store closed for the day. The ride home, in B's car was special too, as we felt part of his daily commute; something I had only imagined him doing everyday for the last few years.  the kids chatted excitedly in the back, and nibbled on the Doritos. The wind whipped through my hair as I gazed contentedly at the orange ball of fire that was the setting sun, dipping down gracefully, low on the horizon...It had been a good day!
We chatted about the loveliness of the countryside, his face and eyes bathed in the glow of the sunset. Inside, I smiled and thanked the Lord for having given me the idea and will to do this for us all. In more ways than one, it was a truly beautiful birthday!! Happy Birthday, honey! You are the sun, glowing on my horizon, guiding me home, making me fly... you are the laughter of our children, the naughty twinkle in their eyes, the gentle touch of their fingers and the trusting clasp of their tiny hands... You, my dear, are my life.
Thank you for being mine!
xxx

Cakes, Bakes and summer Birthdays - Vol 1

Today is my B's birthday. That's my girls' Dad, to be specific. He's all of 38, working hard, without a break, since his return from India last month. Last night, the girls helped me clean and tidy up the kitchen, and watched me bake a cake. We had driven B out of the 'female' domain  as soon as he'd had his dinner. He wanted to cook outdoors on a barbecue, and I wanted to get a move-on my my cake. So, with S helping me inside and occasionally rushing out back to check the progress on the sausages, we both managed to finish everything around 2300. Good timing, if you ask me!
B was quite knackered and was asleep as soon as he got into bed. Settling down S was another matter. She has begun to hate me for putting her to sleep, and now shouts and hits out at me when earlier she would snuggle into my arms, or nuzzle my neck and nod off to la-la Land... Its painful, this transformation in my little girl. But I keep my emotions in check. "This too, Shall pass", I remind myself stoically, as the Buddha said...
Today, R woke up first and reminded me that we still need to finish Daddy's cake! After writing out or cards and packing our presents for him (with their approval, of  course!), I cleaned the house. The girls' helped too, by dusting (R) and staying well out of the way (S). At present, they are out on the driveway, drawing rainbows, flowers and hope! Now, on to our next challenge, the icing on the cake. Literally a task so fraught, it makes me want to do it myself. Knowing them, however, I feel that they would love nothing better than to get 'stuck-in' and slap, dash the icing with their own small hands! It may not be the most good looking cake, but it will certainly be brimming with their love!