A Loving Prayer for my newborn Niece

My Dearest Brother Digvijay and Prachi 

I was thinking of you both for a lot many days before your baby arrived as I waited for the news! On my way to work and back, I waited and then some more!!  So here is something I've been thinking, and mulling and sort-of wish you too- Now that she's finally here, its here for you, with my prayers and best wishes to your little FAMILY!!

You met one day, 

By the good Lord's will,

and promptly fell in love,

Then marriage vows united you, 

with blessings from above.

The years roll by,

with life on a high,

and loved ones watch and cheer,

you live in joy and love complete, 

now your little darling is here!!

So, wish you wonderful years ahead

and I want to say just this,

May His blessings always shower you all

with Love and Care and Bliss,

and as you gaze upon her face,

and hold her close to your heart,

she fills your lives with amazing Grace,

and this is just a start!!

'Life is Love' and no one else 

can show us this so clearly,

as this little gift of Love in your arms,

that you both hold so dearly!!

God bless this little one,

as she fills your eyes with tears of merry, joyful laughter,
this angelic bundle of delight, your precious little daughter!!

- (this is something I wrote last night for you both)

May you all have a life full of total Joy...she will soon begin to grow and make your hearts just glow with pride at each and every moment! I Pray that all your moments are filled with this little very REAL DREAM!! She will smile, and yawn, cry or sneeze, roll and then crawl, and walk holding your hands,and give you all her love making you feel like the luckiest people in the world!! 

You gaze at the little miracle so perfectly formed, and instantly fall in love again!! Her tiny, perfect hands and toes, her little eyes and downy hair, her baby-smell, her sleepy face, her cuddly, snuggly warmth... As you hold her close and stroke her face, remember how much you were loved by our parents too, and now its your turn- to give it back to the Universe and especially to the proud grandparents!! 

So cherish her, love and share the miracle of parenthood, in all its beauteous glory...

There's nothing quit like LOVE, when it comes to life's story!

I'm sure, in time, she will learn all about life from two of the most loving, adventurous, wise and special parents in the world, YOU TWO! For now, just enjoy her and experience each second with this most special blessing from God-and reflect on how beautiful it is to just BE PARENTS!!! 

I wish you Love and may God bless her, my little niece...!! I wish I were there, to see her now, but I know in my heart it will be soon....

-with all my love,

yours, Ruch

Cakes, Bakes and summer Birthdays- Vol 2

B's birthday was aglow with the beauty of the summer sun, and made me smile as soon as I pulled back the curtains.  Actually, it was R who woke me up with her excited cry of " Mummyyy, we have to finish Dade's cake (she says Daddy and writes it as Dade, and, so did I.)!! So, I got up and we all wished B a very happy birthday.He was sorry he had to go to work (little knowing the surprise I had in store for him later!) and promised to try to get home soon that evening.
After the girls had their lunch, I fried some samosas added squashes for the journey and a packet of Doritos to our backpack and set off with the girls beside me in their summer hats and jumpsuits. We walked to a bus stop nearby and waited for our bus to arrive. After half-an-hour of waiting (by which time the girls had counted cars, trucks and trailers, smiled at babies in buggies and women on bicycles and swigged from their drink bottles a few times) the bus drew up level and we got inside, thankful to have escaped the heat for a bit! Then, S started her favourite 'journey' game, loudly commenting on why the bus made her fall back into her seat (at which I tried to recollect my vaguely remembered knowledge of Physics- momentum and the inertia of motion) She seemed satisfied by my answer but the answer itself, gave rise to more questions. I promised to google it later on, and show her the results. So, once more, peace prevailed in the bus! On public transport, S constantly observes people, things and views out of the window, and occasionally says, "Are we there, yet!!?" a-la- donkey in SHREK. She is fidgety, affectionate and sometimes gets upset when I tell her off for smacking her little sister out in public places. At home, she is always pushing, punching, poking or shoving her sister, which makes me sad and angry.
When we reached Hemel Hempstead, where B works as a store manager in the Town Centre, we thanked the bus driver, got down at the stop and made our way down the high street.
Inside B's store, his staff, who were in on the surprise, tried to help smuggle us upstairs to B's office. S, however, had different plans, and had started giggling, and grinned at her Dad when she caught his eye! So, we all came out of hiding, and it was so worthwhile just to see the delighted surprise on B's face as he said, "Hi!! What are you all doing here!!!?" and scooped the squealing, smiling girls up into a big, high hug!
Later, after an office-room birthday celebration with his good colleagues AB and NG, we headed home after the tills had been balanced and the store closed for the day. The ride home, in B's car was special too, as we felt part of his daily commute; something I had only imagined him doing everyday for the last few years.  the kids chatted excitedly in the back, and nibbled on the Doritos. The wind whipped through my hair as I gazed contentedly at the orange ball of fire that was the setting sun, dipping down gracefully, low on the horizon...It had been a good day!
We chatted about the loveliness of the countryside, his face and eyes bathed in the glow of the sunset. Inside, I smiled and thanked the Lord for having given me the idea and will to do this for us all. In more ways than one, it was a truly beautiful birthday!! Happy Birthday, honey! You are the sun, glowing on my horizon, guiding me home, making me fly... you are the laughter of our children, the naughty twinkle in their eyes, the gentle touch of their fingers and the trusting clasp of their tiny hands... You, my dear, are my life.
Thank you for being mine!
xxx

Cakes, Bakes and summer Birthdays - Vol 1

Today is my B's birthday. That's my girls' Dad, to be specific. He's all of 38, working hard, without a break, since his return from India last month. Last night, the girls helped me clean and tidy up the kitchen, and watched me bake a cake. We had driven B out of the 'female' domain  as soon as he'd had his dinner. He wanted to cook outdoors on a barbecue, and I wanted to get a move-on my my cake. So, with S helping me inside and occasionally rushing out back to check the progress on the sausages, we both managed to finish everything around 2300. Good timing, if you ask me!
B was quite knackered and was asleep as soon as he got into bed. Settling down S was another matter. She has begun to hate me for putting her to sleep, and now shouts and hits out at me when earlier she would snuggle into my arms, or nuzzle my neck and nod off to la-la Land... Its painful, this transformation in my little girl. But I keep my emotions in check. "This too, Shall pass", I remind myself stoically, as the Buddha said...
Today, R woke up first and reminded me that we still need to finish Daddy's cake! After writing out or cards and packing our presents for him (with their approval, of  course!), I cleaned the house. The girls' helped too, by dusting (R) and staying well out of the way (S). At present, they are out on the driveway, drawing rainbows, flowers and hope! Now, on to our next challenge, the icing on the cake. Literally a task so fraught, it makes me want to do it myself. Knowing them, however, I feel that they would love nothing better than to get 'stuck-in' and slap, dash the icing with their own small hands! It may not be the most good looking cake, but it will certainly be brimming with their love!

Happy Birthday, Shivangi!

Whenever the birthday of a loved one rolls around, I get excited, begin making plans if they're close by my side, or think about how I can get in touch, if we're oceans apart.. I must admit, though, that birthdays also make me ponderous, wistful and, at times, a little bit sad. Just a little bit, though! Last weekend was one such day. What made it extra special and extra poignant is that my first-born, S, turned eight that day.  There's something irrevocable and definitive about birthdays. Especially my kids' birthdays... Like time has been stamped and chronicled...so-and-so is now and henceforth eight years and counting....time that has passed on, never to return...All that remains are memories. Growing fainter and fainter with the passage of time, save those special details that make memories feel so very much alive...and makes me want to write it all down, keeping it fresh in my sieve-like mind!

I quite vividly remember the day she was born in all its glorious details... It was a Monday, and a sunny one at that. I had walked home, after being discharged from the hospital that very morning, after a weekend 'under observation'. After reaching home, I cooked and waited for my M-i-L to return from work. As we watched TV that night, I felt an uncomfortable pain around my bump, as if an invisible band was being gradually tightened around my ample middle... Mum asked me if I was all right, and, since I had no clue, I nodded. Later that night, as the discomfort intensified, she told me to take care and get some rest, and to wake her up if I felt any pain. My husband worked afternoon shifts as a restaurant manager, so I called him and we talked about the possibility that tonight was THE NIGHT!! After an excited exchange and numerous text messages to him, I rang the Delivery Suite team and was told to take some Paracetamol and try to relax until the contractions were five minutes apart. When I told my husband Raj, he just jumped up, and said, "Let's go!!" 

I can recollect, with some accuracy, the way the Delivery Suite Midwives settled me in, and the way I held my husband's hand with bone-crushing intensity. (Its a good thing he has always been fit and works out at the gym, come rain or shine; a lesser man would have howled and pulled away as the waves of pain crashed over me with alarming regularity.) It all felt so rushed, and uncomfortable that I felt like saying, "hang on, can we run over this bit again!!??" It left me ill-prepared to use the gas-and-air mask that a nurse told me to breathe with when the pain intensified. Consequently, I managed to deliver my precious first child whilst feeling as if I were being ripped from the inside out. I pushed and pushed and then some more until the searing pain gave way and I felt a warm, wet and soft form escape my body... I craned my neck to catcha glimpse of my child, (all I could see was black hair and a tiny, limp form, face down on the sheets between my knees. Worried and anxious when I did not hear her cries (as I had expected, thanks to the hundred-odd hindi films depicting the birth of a child) my feeling of dread was pushed to the back when the super-efficient midwife wrapped her up in a clean towel and proffered my husband a pair of scissors to cut the cord...With shaking hands, he did just as she instructed, and she lay my baby in my ams for a quick cuddle.... Meanwhile, Senior staff who entered the room (I had no idea who they were and scrambled to preserve the remnants of my dignity) A supportive midwife helped me sit up and I was relieved to see I was decent! The seniors consulted amongst themselves about her low APGAR score, and debated on the next course of action. All this took just a few minutes and soon after her birth, they had a little sterile trolley brought in and were ready to take S down to NIU to be monitored for a few hours.

In the moments following her birth, as the NICU staff whisked her away, my dear husband looked worried sick and torn in two as he brushed away tears with the back of his hand. A nurse plunged a needle into my thigh to give me some vitamin K and another prepared to 'stitch me up'.  Late that morning, after an hour of bed rest, and a wash (that made me feel like I was still alive, and after my husband,B, and his mum had gone home after seeing to it that both of us were okay and resting...B, owing to his immense dislike of hospitals and MiL because she was , understandably, exhausted after a day & night of no sleep on a weekday.) and being examined and monitored by the wonderful staff, I was wheeled down to see my brand-new baby daughter, who I had only just held in my arms briefly, until that point... She looked so tiny, so fragile and yet so much her own person!! Her spiky, jet-black hair stood out in all directions,  her eyes tightly shut, an unmistakable frown (her Dad's) imprinted her forehead as she lay on her tummy, under the warm light in an incubator. As she slept, I looked and looked at her, unable to fight the urge to hold her close, yet afraid to do so, as she clearly, needed the drip and the warmth. I debated with myself and continued to look at her until a kindly nurse asked me if I'd like to hold her!!?? So, as mother and daughter were finally re-united outside the womb, a new chapter of our lives began! A chapter that said, "Hello!!"

In all our interactions so far in her young life, I try and recollect that first meeting and that first touch... As she snuggled up to me at night and fell asleep... To this day, I smile when I feel her breathing becoming regular and her little hands clasping me in different places, I thank God for the gift of motherhood....