My eight-year-old never ceases to amaze me. With her vivid memory, her zest for life and her absolute, unadulterated love for people she likes and cares for! She often reaches out and caress little children tenderly, or holds her TA's hand and says something so totally, disarmingly simple and heartfelt, it makes my hear clench with joy. She strikes up a conversation as I wait in line at the tills at the shops, sayying "Hello," to perfect strangers with such a genuine, cheery smile on her face that even the most spectacularly serious sort of folk break into a grin and say 'Hello' back! S is very straightforward. She says things like, "This is my mummy...I am shopping with my mummy...", making those of us who are with her or talking to her, smile widely.
Lately, S has been going through what I can only describe as a 'dark phase of the moon'. she would scream and shout at me and other adults at school if she was asked to do something. She has recently resorted to punches and abuse directed at me when I say something to her. On one occassion, we were walking home together, and as usual, I ran through the drill, " let's look left, then right and then wait until it is ok to cross over the road." I was holding my younger daughter's hand and bent down to ask her if she agreed it was 'ok' to cross or not, suddenly, over her head I watched a white van approaching, and noticed the driver hesitate, as if unsure... Instinctively, I whipped my head around, and was horrified to see S prancing into the middle of the road, her naughty, defiant eyes teasing me...daring me. I rushed forward and tried to hold her hand and bring her back, but she kicked-off right there and then, making me feel as small as an ant..... When incidents like this occur, I try to put myself in her place and think of how she would need her mum to react... It takes a few deep breaths and a good deal of self-control (which I, sadly, somehow lack) to refrain from shouting at her and giving her a royal 'talking- to'... Its a constant process of learning to invoke my reserves of empathy and patience and unlearning expectations, rational thought and "Oh, she's just trying to spite me" kind of thoughts...
Today, after nearly a year of watching her temperament gradually change from sunny to surly, I was ecstatic to see the obvious change in her demeanour. She smiled and greeted her Paediatric Occupational Therapists- Kirstie and Sharon at her O T review this afternoon and giving Sharon a big hug, happily settled down to do the activities she was meant to do. K observed, assessed and for some activities, timed her making observations and chatting with me about how I feel things are getting along. We had this review nearly 4 months too late because of other events in our lives and I was secretly thankful they even considered seeing her today.
K said she has made great progress, which, although not quite in line with S's age-expectations, is progress all the same..."you should be really happy" K told me as she finalised the discharge paperwork and shared her observations with me. I was! Ultimately, what made my day was the big hug and kisses she gave me, and the realisation that, for the day atleast, I would be there to pick her up from school!
Lately, S has been going through what I can only describe as a 'dark phase of the moon'. she would scream and shout at me and other adults at school if she was asked to do something. She has recently resorted to punches and abuse directed at me when I say something to her. On one occassion, we were walking home together, and as usual, I ran through the drill, " let's look left, then right and then wait until it is ok to cross over the road." I was holding my younger daughter's hand and bent down to ask her if she agreed it was 'ok' to cross or not, suddenly, over her head I watched a white van approaching, and noticed the driver hesitate, as if unsure... Instinctively, I whipped my head around, and was horrified to see S prancing into the middle of the road, her naughty, defiant eyes teasing me...daring me. I rushed forward and tried to hold her hand and bring her back, but she kicked-off right there and then, making me feel as small as an ant..... When incidents like this occur, I try to put myself in her place and think of how she would need her mum to react... It takes a few deep breaths and a good deal of self-control (which I, sadly, somehow lack) to refrain from shouting at her and giving her a royal 'talking- to'... Its a constant process of learning to invoke my reserves of empathy and patience and unlearning expectations, rational thought and "Oh, she's just trying to spite me" kind of thoughts...
Today, after nearly a year of watching her temperament gradually change from sunny to surly, I was ecstatic to see the obvious change in her demeanour. She smiled and greeted her Paediatric Occupational Therapists- Kirstie and Sharon at her O T review this afternoon and giving Sharon a big hug, happily settled down to do the activities she was meant to do. K observed, assessed and for some activities, timed her making observations and chatting with me about how I feel things are getting along. We had this review nearly 4 months too late because of other events in our lives and I was secretly thankful they even considered seeing her today.
K said she has made great progress, which, although not quite in line with S's age-expectations, is progress all the same..."you should be really happy" K told me as she finalised the discharge paperwork and shared her observations with me. I was! Ultimately, what made my day was the big hug and kisses she gave me, and the realisation that, for the day atleast, I would be there to pick her up from school!
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