As much as I love my 8 year old, I am often shocked at her behaviour.... She is usually kind to kids, but is often deliberately unkind to those who are closest to her- Her sister, myself, her grandmother...
Take for instance, today. She pulled her little sister into a big strangle-cuddle around the neck, leaving her bleating like a goat while she grinned like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, then kicked her on the shins when she cried out for good measure. My husband, when he witnesses such behaviour, tries to ignore it. If it gets too much, gently but firmly tells her not to behave like that. Seems to work for him all-right, but not for me, so I often lose my rag and physically 'rescue' my younger daughter. I know, we're giving S conflicting messages and emotions. To my chagrin, my Bee (as I call my hubby) recommends 'distraction' to me, when I get agitated at the unfairness of it all sometimes my feelings threaten to tip over the edge of reasonable motherly 'punishments' like time out and / or 'quiet-time' which would give her the chance to mull over her behaviour. Now, I have finally come to realize, it is too much to expect from her.
Yes, I do go all 'mother goose' when she (or anyone, for that matter) tries to bully my younger child (or even S). I'm not an in-you-face mother, but neither would I sit on a bench in the park, watching them play, fight or hit each other (which seldom happens in public). Well, you get the picture!
Last Friday was the last day she spent at her mainstream school and the change to a Special School, welcome and full of hope as it is, has made me a bit sentimental. About how she would cop, in a new place, surrounded by new people, kids and a whole new environment about how beautifully they managed to occupy her at her old school. Be it her key-workers, T.As , Class Teacher or PE instructor Mr S who helped her overcome her fear of the balancing beam and the monkey bars, the rope ladders and the crash mats... now, she jumps and prances in the P.S.H.E class like a new-born foal!! So, as the last day of her schooling at the mainstream primary approached, I wrote to her Headteacher, requesting her permission to take pictures of my daughter wit her classmates, teachers and others who had made such a huge contribution to her well-being at school. The pictures are a memory- bank, and so are the lovely presents she was given.
Right now, I am thinking of how I and my family will endure the weeks of holiday.Six weeks of hell, more like..Besides, I have not taken any anual leave... (I have only ten days left of A.L till April 2013). So trips out to the park will be limited to early morning saunters (highly unlikely as they never wake up early) or on my days off, and clubs and groups like F.L.A.G and F.U.N are hard to get to, as I don't drive a car... In all, it looks rather bleak, as Bee is more interested in finishing his pet-project, his Car.
He is working all week long, and will struggle too...To make matters worse, my brother and Sister-in-Law flew back to India on Friday, leaving me with no one to turn to for advice. My friend P is in Czech republic, with her six yr old, and will be returning, alone, this Friday. (Her son J, will spend the hols with his granny).. Maybe my girls' granny can help!? But she has her hands full at the moment, and looks after them as I work. Apart from cooking, baking, painting, pavement-drawing and running, I have run out of ideas, as her special needs mean she needs my undivided attention so she doesn't pour the whole pot of glue all over the page.
I have no bright ideas on how to occupy my ASDish so she doesn't beat up and bully her little sis all the time. Factor in her screaming, shouting and back-answering tantrums and loud bawling, its no wonder I am at the end of my tether... I dislike the holidays already, and its only been a few hours... I HATE this dread. Hell, I'm supposed to be feeling happy. : (
Maybe distracting her, teaching her new games, giving her freedom of expression on a 'paint' programme on the PC or a half hour on the trampoline out back is the answer. Last month, a friend of mine gave her a box of chalk for her Birthday, so she can draw on the driveway and eat' make-believe' picnic lunches whilst I keep an eye on them from the kitchen window as I clean. MiL had serious reservations about letting them out as we live on a relatively quiet street. She never ceases to voice her concern and greatly influences my anxiety levels (for the worse). I try to listen and still do as my judgement sees fit, but there is always a niggling fear in my head that if she were ever to be proved right (if S were to rush into the path orf a car on the road) she'll never let me live it down.
I will keep thinking positive thoughts, I remind myself!
Take for instance, today. She pulled her little sister into a big strangle-cuddle around the neck, leaving her bleating like a goat while she grinned like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, then kicked her on the shins when she cried out for good measure. My husband, when he witnesses such behaviour, tries to ignore it. If it gets too much, gently but firmly tells her not to behave like that. Seems to work for him all-right, but not for me, so I often lose my rag and physically 'rescue' my younger daughter. I know, we're giving S conflicting messages and emotions. To my chagrin, my Bee (as I call my hubby) recommends 'distraction' to me, when I get agitated at the unfairness of it all sometimes my feelings threaten to tip over the edge of reasonable motherly 'punishments' like time out and / or 'quiet-time' which would give her the chance to mull over her behaviour. Now, I have finally come to realize, it is too much to expect from her.
Yes, I do go all 'mother goose' when she (or anyone, for that matter) tries to bully my younger child (or even S). I'm not an in-you-face mother, but neither would I sit on a bench in the park, watching them play, fight or hit each other (which seldom happens in public). Well, you get the picture!
Last Friday was the last day she spent at her mainstream school and the change to a Special School, welcome and full of hope as it is, has made me a bit sentimental. About how she would cop, in a new place, surrounded by new people, kids and a whole new environment about how beautifully they managed to occupy her at her old school. Be it her key-workers, T.As , Class Teacher or PE instructor Mr S who helped her overcome her fear of the balancing beam and the monkey bars, the rope ladders and the crash mats... now, she jumps and prances in the P.S.H.E class like a new-born foal!! So, as the last day of her schooling at the mainstream primary approached, I wrote to her Headteacher, requesting her permission to take pictures of my daughter wit her classmates, teachers and others who had made such a huge contribution to her well-being at school. The pictures are a memory- bank, and so are the lovely presents she was given.
Right now, I am thinking of how I and my family will endure the weeks of holiday.Six weeks of hell, more like..Besides, I have not taken any anual leave... (I have only ten days left of A.L till April 2013). So trips out to the park will be limited to early morning saunters (highly unlikely as they never wake up early) or on my days off, and clubs and groups like F.L.A.G and F.U.N are hard to get to, as I don't drive a car... In all, it looks rather bleak, as Bee is more interested in finishing his pet-project, his Car.
He is working all week long, and will struggle too...To make matters worse, my brother and Sister-in-Law flew back to India on Friday, leaving me with no one to turn to for advice. My friend P is in Czech republic, with her six yr old, and will be returning, alone, this Friday. (Her son J, will spend the hols with his granny).. Maybe my girls' granny can help!? But she has her hands full at the moment, and looks after them as I work. Apart from cooking, baking, painting, pavement-drawing and running, I have run out of ideas, as her special needs mean she needs my undivided attention so she doesn't pour the whole pot of glue all over the page.
I have no bright ideas on how to occupy my ASDish so she doesn't beat up and bully her little sis all the time. Factor in her screaming, shouting and back-answering tantrums and loud bawling, its no wonder I am at the end of my tether... I dislike the holidays already, and its only been a few hours... I HATE this dread. Hell, I'm supposed to be feeling happy. : (
Maybe distracting her, teaching her new games, giving her freedom of expression on a 'paint' programme on the PC or a half hour on the trampoline out back is the answer. Last month, a friend of mine gave her a box of chalk for her Birthday, so she can draw on the driveway and eat' make-believe' picnic lunches whilst I keep an eye on them from the kitchen window as I clean. MiL had serious reservations about letting them out as we live on a relatively quiet street. She never ceases to voice her concern and greatly influences my anxiety levels (for the worse). I try to listen and still do as my judgement sees fit, but there is always a niggling fear in my head that if she were ever to be proved right (if S were to rush into the path orf a car on the road) she'll never let me live it down.
I will keep thinking positive thoughts, I remind myself!
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